Mar 27 2008
Some thoughts on freedom
This was my first fair isle knitting. It was going to be a hat for me. Then it turned out too small, so I gave it to my daughter. It was too big for her. Now it is owned by a friends daughter, who is modelling it on the picture. She looks fab in it. The stitch markers an example of what I sell in my Etsy shop at the moment.
These things are nothing to do with what I want to talk about today, just for your enchantement.
I’m determent that I’m going to make my living on what I like to do. I’m sick and tired of shifting papers all day long, doing what my anti-social boss wants me to do, and pretend that I care. I do not care anymore. And I do not care if they are hurt by it. Life is too short to live as others want. It is my life, and I want to live it they way I like.
My mother and my husband thinks it would be silly to quit a well paid job for something so insecure like an own business. But I know, if I don’t do it now, I will never do it. And I’m sure I would be unhappy for the rest of my life.
I’m 35, now. Say, I will give this business a try for 5 years. If I fail, I couldstill go back to corporate life. God give me strength, I wish I will not have to. I’m sick, sick, sick of it.
I feel phisycally sick in the morning when I realise I have to go again to the office. And it is not just because of the boss I hate, it is the whole lifestyle.
I spend my life in a small cage all day long, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, sometimes more. Then I rush for Sára to the kindergarten, then we rush home, to do the housework, dinner, bath, sleep. Life just passes by, and I can’t enjoy it. I can’t play with my daughter, because we do not have time, or we are too tired in the evenings. I don’t want her to grow up like this.
I want to be able to do what I like, do it from home, be my own boss, have time to live my life, go out with my husband, have fun with each other more often, and – just simply be happy.
And I’m determined this time. I shall do it. No matter how hard it will be. I’m on the way, and I will not let anyone stop me, or make me uncertain in what I envisioned.
OK, I said what I wanted to say. Sorry if I was a bit off topic. But knitting is one of the things I would love to do, full time, so it is quite related.
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